


The Lazy Factor

by Vexatious



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Drinking, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Lazybones, Marijuana, Mild Language, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Swapfell Papyrus - Freeform, Underfell Grillby, Underfell Sans, Underswap Papyrus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 02:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13603233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexatious/pseuds/Vexatious
Summary: Based on the idea that Red (Underfell Sans) and Slim (Swapfell Papyrus) have a solid platonic relationship  based on a mutual love of video games, vices, and very low energy levels.Be sure to check out my Tumblr:vex-bittys





	The Lazy Factor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redtomatofan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redtomatofan/gifts).



Slim never imagined that he would someday discover a universe so similar to his own, much less a universe containing a bizarro copy of himself. Sure, Red lacked a little (a lot) in the height department, and his voice sounded like he smoked 4 packs a day when he only actually smoked 3. Still, any alternate version of himself was a guy he could see himself liking, and he definitely enjoyed spending time with Red.

Today found them sprawled on the couch with lofty plans to binge-watch TV until they dozed off mid-afternoon in a pile of their own snack garbage, beer bottles, and cigarette butts. Slim appeared to be poured over the back of the couch with his coccyx glued to the backrest, his spine stretched along the seat cushion, and his arms flopped uselessly over his upside down skull so that his hands dragged the floor.

Red used Slim’s ribcage as a pillow, letting his legs dangle over the armrest as he drummed it with the heels of his feet. They’d run into a problem already, but surely two former science nerds could overcome the tiny obstacle before them- a missing remote. 

They’d already patted the couch apathetically to no avail when Red spotted the wayward item sitting on the TV stand next to the TV. With a snort, he pointed it out to Slim.

“who puts the remote next t’ the tv anyway? if i wanted t’ get up, I’d go over there and turn the fucking thing on myself!” Red complained.

“‘s your house. your bro probably did it,” Slim pointed out without making the effort of  _actually_  pointing.

Red sighed. “now what?”

“dunno.” Slim rolled himself into an upright position like the world’s least talented acrobat, tipping Red off of him in the process. With a groan of supreme exertion, Slim stretched his leg out as far as it would go and wiggled his foot, hoping to dislodge the remote without getting up.If only he were a few feet taller, they’d be flipping channels by now. 

Red and Slim sat in contemplative silence, staring at their former best buddy and current nemesis, the television remote. Red idly suggested just watching the blank screen until someone came home to help them. Slim suggested throwing things, but an impact from their end would just push the remote further away. They glared, stroking their jawbones and humming to themselves in hopes of  _hmm_ -ing up a solution.

“magic?” suggested Slim tiredly. Maybe if they discussed it long enough, they could just skip to the nap part of their day.

“i dunno,” hedged Red. “gotta focus the magic, move my hand, wait. seems like a lot of work. what’re you doing?”

Slim had his phone in his hand. He tapped a few keys and pressed the speaker button before tossing the phone onto the coffee table so they could talk into it together.

“… ‘lo?” The line crackled with static, nearly drowning out the greeting. Cell phones weren’t meant to connect across the multiverse. “… ‘ello?” The voice became clearer, and there could be no mistaking Stretch’s indolent drawl.

“stretch, dude, you gotta help us,” begged Red.

“… ‘s wrong?” Stretch sounded mildly concerned, pretty much the most concerned he ever got about anything.

“we’re at Red’s house, and the remote is across the room, and we don’t wanna get up,” whined Slim. He knew their Underswap counterpart would understand the gravity of the situation. 

“… on m’… way…” 

Red and Slim were still staring at Slim’s phone when Stretch appeared in a soft whoosh of moving air and lazy skeleton. The newcomer landed squarely on the backrest of the couch with his front end dangling between his Fellverse friends and the toes of his shoes barely touching the floor behind it.

“why didn’t you land by the tv?” demanded Red.

“because i have a better idea,” countered Stretch, tossing a bag onto the coffee table. He pulled out a small hover-drone with a grasping claw, showing it off proudly to the slack-jawed Red and Slim. The Cool Factor of the tech toy easily overpowered the Lazy Factor that prevented them from using boring old magic.

“it’s my house, so i get t’ fly it,” declared Red.

“it’s my drone. i’m flying.” Stretch actually formed an ecto-tongue for the sole purpose of blowing a raspberry at Red. Slim seized the opportunity and snatched the control for the drone away from both of them.

”time’s a-wastin’,” said Slim, the skeleton in the room who showed absolutely no concern about wasting time ever. 

Slim manipulated the controls for the drone and finally got it airborne. Red and Stretch cheered him on as he carefully guided the craft onward to collect their treasure…. and right into the TV. At first nothing happened, and three skeletons breathed loud sighs of relief until the TV pitched forward, smashing the drone and crashing onto the floor.

The edge of the TV caught the coffee table, flipping it onto the mess with a noisy crunch that boded ill for future television-centric adventures. Red and Stretch stared while Slim casually dropped the controller for the drone and kicked it under the sofa.

“grillby’s?” suggested Red.

“grillby’s,” the other two skeletons agreed.

* * *

Raucous laughter filled the bar, and alcohol and puns flowed freely, at least at the table shared by the three skeleton monsters. Other patrons, and the bar owner himself, were less enthused by the rowdy guests. Not a single one of the three was likely to actually pay the huge tab they ran up, and leverage over anyone other than Red meant little to Grillby. He had no desire at all to travel the multiverse collecting gold from infinite copies of the same obnoxious asshole.

The three skeletons sneakily passed a joint around under the table, not that their clandestine hand-offs fooled anyone. Any monster with eyeholes and some semblance of a nose could tell they weren’t puffing on regular cigarettes. Plus, they made ridiculous whisper-shouted puns about it, and a distinct lack of coordination and speed made their attempts at secrecy laughable at best. And laugh they did.

“i love this _joint_ ,” wheezed Stretch, “and the bar ain’t bad either.”

Red exhaled a cloud of smoke. “don’t be so  _blunt_  about it, dude.”

“don’t wanna get kicked out for our  _dubi-_ ous activities,” snickered Slim.

The three skeletons cackled and nearly fell out of their chairs. 

* * *

Red, Stretch, and Slim stumbled home, drunk, high, and smeared with condiments where condiments should obviously  _not_  be smeared. As they burst through the door of Red’s house, the jumbled pile of electronics and furniture provided a not-quite-sobering-enough reminder of their previous activities.

“whaaaaaaaaaaaaa-” Stretch started to say, but he lost his train of thought mid word and just continued to make the vowel sound indefinitely in a higher octave.

Red snorted and elbowed Stretch to quiet him.

“wha… what happened… to the tv?” asked Slim, blinking comically and swaying on his feet.

“THAT’S WHAT WE’D LIKE TO KNOW.”

Three skulls rotated slowly towards the sound of the harsh, grating voice. Three armored skeletons stood in the living room, arms crossed in front of their ribcages- two as short as Red and one as tall as Slim and Stretch. Boots tapped impatiently on the carpet and accusing sockets narrowed.

_Oh, shit._

It was their brothers!


End file.
